“Bad” Meetings

Oh we all know what I’m talking about. The small meeting with a ton of freshly dried-out drunks talking about their day, their problems, their mothers, their last drunk, how much they drank, and NOTHING about what they are doing to make their lives a little better.
We sit there and look at the floor, put our head in out hands, sigh, shake our heads, go to the bathroom, get more coffee, and overall wish we weren’t there. (For those of you who claim to have never been to a “bad” meeting, my hat is off to you, obviously you have mastered humility. Or you are one of the people I speak of)

Sometimes I go to a meeting and based on what cars are parked there,  I keep on driving. Sometimes I hear a few people whining and get up and leave in the middle of a meeting. I’d rather go home and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches than do what I need to do to survive and help another alcoholic!

Why is this ok? Why do we just accept that some people need to get a sponsor and work the steps without being willing to go up and help them ourselves?

Some of it is laziness… some of it is complacency… most of it is our selfishness. Sometimes I feel like it would be a waste of freakin time to go up to a newcomer and tell her how to go about getting a sponsor, get her a book, give her my number and listen to her. My ego tells me that these people are not here for help. And sometimes it is clear they are not as they ask to get their slip signed and they sneak out. No, I’m absolutely not going to go chase them down and beat them with my Big Book.

Who the hell am I to judge these people? Who am i to decide if their recovery sucks or what they need? All I know is what has worked for me. How I got away from the drink and got a relationship with God. And I can only do what I know to help another drunk find their way. And I can only be of service if they are willing. *sigh*

But today I do have a responsibility to help another alcoholic in need. Sometimes… I may be the only person in the room with a message to carry. Once in a while I have to be that person that speaks of the solution and lets others know there is hope and a solution. I may be the only solution they hear. They may not come back again if they do not hear the way out. I must not sit back and wait for Joe or Nancy to carry the message. I have a duty. To my God, to myself and to another alcoholic to stand in the way of ignorance and speak the truth. I am a beacon of hope at times and I need to take that seriously.

If I am to survive this shit, and make it another day without a drink, I need to have a great, not good, relationship with GOD, I need to do the work laid out in front of me, and I need to serve others. OR I DIE. DIE!
Crazy.
Today, I will choose not to take that path. I will be in contact with my God, I will utilize our principles to the best of my ability, and I will reach out when asked and when not asked and help another alcoholic help themselves. It is my duty.